People I Can Live Without

PEOPLE I CAN LIVE WITHOUT

People who don't say hi when you say hi to them.
Girls who do their makeup in class. You're in class to learn. And if you're ugly the makeup ain't gonna help you anyway.
People calling me up while I'm busy, asking me for donations. If you interrupt me while I'm taking a dump there's no way in hell you're getting my money.
People who need glasses but won't wear them because they don't want to look like geeks. If you need glasses, what's the point of not wearing them? You might think you look better, but you'll be too blind to see the boogers hanging out of your nose when you go out.
People who say they don't masturbate. Look, you folks aren't fooling anyone. We all know you do it. You're just a liar on top of it all. And those who most vigorously deny doing it usually do it more than the rest of us.
People who complain about being overweight and yet eat like a Somalian in a buffet. Alright, I'm thin, and when I go to a restaurant I order like a vegetarian plate or something. But my overweight friends will have like the whole left side of the menu, and proceed to complain about being fat. Look, if you're heavy and you wanna shove 20 burgers down your throat, FINE...but accept that you're still gonna weigh in the quadruple figures if you don't take care of yourself.
People who go to stores and treat the workers like shit. If anyone is a true friend of mine they will find these people and sodomize them.
Pro-lifers who bomb abortion clinics. Now this makes a lot of sense. I believe in the sanctity of life, so I'll go murder someone. A fetus in the 1st trimester and usually the entire second trimester isn't a person, they don't think with normal brain waves until the third trimester...thinking is what makes us human. So abortion doctors aren't killing people, they're killing potential people. When a guy jerks off, he's killing millions of potential people. So I guess to a pro-lifer, we're all mass murderers. In fact, I just killed a whole continent this morning.
People who think it's cute to name their car. It isn't.
People who call my house, listen to my answering machine's outgoing message, and hang up without leaving a message. If you aren't gonna leave me a message, why do you listen to my whole recording? Do you think, "Well, I'm not gonna leave him a message, but I had better listen to his outgoing message...after all, his recording just might contain the profound secrets of the universe. That's what answering machine outgoing messages are for, aren't they?"